What even is this?

Listen, buddy, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life but apparently it involves spending time critiquing the 2000 Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle Down to You. Either that sounds like a good time to you or it doesn’t.

Stay up-to-date

Do you actually want to stay up-to-date? On this? On anything? That is between you and your god, sir. I am simply trying to make myself laugh by remembering Van Helsing (2004), a movie that cost $160 million to make but then all the werewolves look like robots who were in the band at Showbiz Pizza.

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Your grandchildren will ask, "Grandma, why are we nostalgic for a decade defined by war, economic crisis, arm warmers, and the 2004 Hugh Jackman film 'Van Helsing'?" And you'll say, "I don't know, but some lady wasted her life writing a blog about it."

People

Gabrielle Moss

@bloggerindecline

author of PAPERBACK CRUSH. "lovingly snarky" — Booklist. "exhausting" — all of my ex-boyfriends.